A Closed Letter to the Blowrioles Fanbase

Dear Howard County/Dundalk Resident,

Your team is not good. In fact, they stink. Oh sure, I know you’re immediately laughing it off and saying that Washington stinks too. That we have the same problems as Baltimore: bad hitting, a bad GM, a pitching crisis, etc. And I won’t disagree with you on the whole. But, we both know that the Blows, dollar for dollar, are a mess of a team and organization.

I realize that our teams are only similar in their geographical location. In fact, I don’t really see the MLB-imposed Beltway Battle as anything more than a nice way for MLB to make a weak-ass attempt at bringing more people to both RFK and Camden Yards. I know that most Blows and Nats fans share this feeling. This is the most similar that the teams are going to be for the foreseeable future, so enjoy taking heart in our pitching troubles, hitting troubles, and ownership bungles. It won’t last forever. Oh and please don’t forget that your hard earned dollars that you spent for those overpriced tickets, Blowrioles jerseys, midget-sized $5.50 beers, and that mediocre (at best) Boog’s BBQ went to pay for a team with a $93 million payroll and all of 4 more wins than the Nats.

“Well at least we’re 2nd in our division” you say. Yes, that may be true. But look at your division. You’re 10 games back from the Red Sox (who utterly embarrassed you last Sunday…or did you forget that travesty of a ninth inning?). The Sox are probably the best team in baseball. The rest of the AL East, however, is up in the air. To this point, the Yankees have not played to their potential. They’re so desperate they gave The Rocket $28 million and their first borns to pitch for them. However, you and I both know that won’t last forever. At some point, the firepower that $195 million buys will come back and then the Blows will be in third. Let’s not forget the Blue Jays, who ran you right out of Canada last week. The Jays are just one game behind you and guess what, they’re coming to town tomorrow! I may just have to go to one of those games to see the pounding in person. Luckily, that only leaves the Devil Rays, the perennial 5th place holder in the AL East. They’re still bad, so you’re saved from finishing last. Congratulations. You’re destined for a fourth place finish…again. I admire your consistency.

And need I even discuss the ownership? The Dark Lord of DC area baseball is still trying to get MLB to pay him for allowing the Nats into town. I guess noone likes to see their inflated attendance dwindle to pathetic levels. I mean, who’s going to waste money on that crappy BBQ? That’s in addition to the complete train wreck of the front office. Having the Dark Lord micromanage the team doesn’t help either. So, to recap: greedy, ambulance chaser for an owner who’s more concerned with squeezing every penny out of the gullible fan-base then with building a solid organization from the farm system up (have you seen the Frederick Keys? They oscillate between mediocre to bad effortlessly).

And the Nats? Well, we stink too, don’t get me wrong. Our pitching rotation is like a house of cards; one strong gust of wind and it’ll all come tumbling down. But the difference between the two clubs is expectation. The Nats were never supposed to be good this year. That’s because everyone in the front office from the owners down to our manager, understood that there is a longer-term effort going on here. Could we have signed some big names (Hernandez and Soriano come to mind) to help the cause this season? Yeah, but it would not have made a marginal difference. We were always destined for the bottom of the NL East. The difference between the Nats and the Blows is that there is a system at work here. Sure they’re last this year, but it’s so in a few seasons we’ll actually have achance at winning the division, pennant, maybe even the Series. The Blows are just trying to finish third, and have been trying since 1998 just to get above .500. Playing not to lose is always a good strategy.

So don’t be too happy with taking the series this weekend. Each game in the series was decided by one run. Much of that was due to the excellent pitching by the Blows and Nats alike. Which only serves to highlight the spirit of the Nats rather than the Blows. The only “starter” who pitched in the entire weekend was Jason Simontaachi. Everything else was pitching by committee, essentially. And still there were no blowouts. Even today’s game was a one run nail-biter.

Personally, I can’t wait for the series here in Baltimore. I’m interested to see how things go when our starters (unpredictable and unstable as they are) are back and maybe, just maybe, Nick Johnson will be back and ready to airmail a few balls onto Eutaw St.

Sincerely,

PMW

P.S.: The whole yelling “O” during the National Anthem is lame. Everyone outside of Bawlmore is laughing at you because it’s so lame. That and the John Denver “Thank God I’m a Country Boy” song. “The Wire” and “Homicide” were based in Baltimore so singing about living in the country is laughable. Sing that stuff out in Dundalk or Westminster.