Today marks the release of the 100th issue of the zombie apocalypse comic series The Walking Dead and I am pretty excited about it. It's long been one of my favorite books to read month in and month out, and I can't wait to pick up my copy this Saturday.
But this is a running blog (right? sure it is!) so I'll tie all this comic nerdiness in to running by highlighting a growing sub-segment of trail races: the zombie race. I first heard about these maybe a year or so ago. They're produced by the same people who brought you the Warrior Dash and other "themed" races that take a basic 5K trail race and dress it up in mud, obstacles, or some theme. The 10 mile Tough Mudder series is also of this ilk, although geared towards an even smaller sub-set of runners. Here I'll focus only on the zombie run.
Basically, the gist is that you run through the woods and attempt to complete an obstacle course, all the while being chased by flesh-eating "zombies," who are other runners dressed up as the undead. Each runner wears a flag belt, representing your health, and the zombies will try to grab those flags. If they grab them all, you "die" and can't be considered for any prizes. There are also health packs you can grab on the course that will keep you alive. There are also numerous paths to take to the finish line, some 5K, others longer, so you have to think as well as run for your life.
It's a novel idea that capitalizes on the recent zombie zeitgeist. The Baltimore race is scheduled for the final Saturday in October, but actually takes place in Darlington, MD, which is an hour north of Baltimore and within spitting distance of the PA border. That's sort of like putting a race in western New Jersey and saying it's being held in New York.
However, the geographic misnomer is the least of my misgivings about this whole class of races. The biggest impediment has to be the cost, and the obvious cash-grab going on.
A sensible cost for a 5K is anywhere up to $40, IMHO. Anything beyond that and you should calculate the $ per mile and $ per minute you'll be spending. Some higher costs are worthier than others. For instance, the Baltimore Running Festival's 5K entry fee is $40 until August 1, then $45 thereafter. But that's a big deal running festival (~20K runners or something) where you're paying for, in theory, insurance, closing the course (busy city streets), paying for police presence (it's Baltimore, come on now), your Under Armour shirt, the post race party, support on the course, etc. So, you could at least present an argument that you're getting $40 of value. Personally, I don't want to pay more than $30 for a 5K and that's pushing it...$25 is more like it, but I realize that's becoming less reasonable. To each their own.
The EARLY registration option for the Baltimore Run for Your Lives 5K is $77!! Yeah, that's right: 7-7. If you register after 09/12/12, the fee goes up to $87. That's just slightly less than A and I paid for our entry fee to the Freedom's Run Half Marathon combined. That works out to $3.44 per mile for the half and a whopping $24.84 per mile for the 5K! Even with differences in insurance and facilities costs (although honestly, I'd assume running through a national battlefield isn't cheap either), the value dispersion is striking.
However, the most egregious money grab of the zombie run is that they charge for spectator tickets. That's right, you pay $77 to run the damn thing and your friend/spouse/misguided co-worker has to pay $32 just to watch the whole thing unfold, but from The Safe Zone. Oh, and no free beer. And nobody gets free food. So, two people cost basically $100, plus food and drinks and souvenirs beyond your medal and t-shirt, assuming only one is running.
In conclusion, these sorts of races are only fun if you're not really going for the running and don't think about how much money you've plopped down to run for 30 minutes. They're all about entertainment and profit margins. And there's nothing wrong with that, I suppose, especially if someone is willing to pay $80 to complete an obstacle course. A fool and his money are easily parted, so good on the race organizers for finding a niche to exploit at the junction between the growing crowd of recreational runners and pop culture. I suppose it's only a matter of time before someone produces a Vampire Scamper or Werewolf Twilight Trot or something like that.
As I said, to each their own. But you've been warned. Don't become a zombie to faddish "races" that are out to make a buck! Be like Rick Grimes and stay away from the hordes crowding these events!
*If you insist on spending money to be chased by fit actors pretending to be zombies, go to the event's website. They run these things all over the country...a cash cow!
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