Doubt vs. Confidence

For me, as I ramp up my mileage and try to become a slightly faster runner, the self-doubt that creeps in whenever we do something new becomes more pronounced, second only to the physical stress required to get better. We become accustomed to seeing others do something incredible like run a marathon or an ultramarathon, and thinking, "I could never do that!". Which is a normal response, I think, to some extent. Disbelief is part of wonder in some ways. If we believed anyone could run 100 miles, it wouldn't evoke so much wonder and admiration when we see men and women do it.

But I think it's when that thought crystallizes into what we think is knowledge that it becomes doubt. We go from exclaiming, "I could never do that" to "I could never do that! I'm too lazy/overweight/busy/ etc." And then we start believing that. I know I'm definitely guilty of this and it's probably going to be a much bigger part of my training and running experience as I move past the 10 mile mark in my long runs.

For example, last week I kept having nagging doubts going into my long run. What if I can't run the whole distance? What if I run too fast and flame out? Etc. I think that definitely impacted my run to some degree, as it was overall OK, but not what I was hoping. I ran too slowly, my stomach felt bad through much of the run, and I just didn't feel confident.

And that's the interesting part: confidence and doubt are two sides of the same coin, yet you can definitely have too much or too little of each. Overconfidence can prove as costly as being too doubtful of your abilities. Yet doubt in many ways is fuel for our desire to test ourselves and our capabilities, both physical and mental. I don't know if I will be able to run a marathon someday, but I'm fairly confident with the right training I can. So I'll go do it. I doubt I could ever run an ultramarathon, but I'll go attempt that someday as well.

Doubt asks the question, "You think you can do this?"

Confidence helps us answer, "Yes. Here, let me show you."

Of course reaching that point mentally isn't quite as easy as typing it out, but that's the point and it's definitely a critical part of training for long distance running. Certainly you have to have the strength of body to run 26.2 miles or 50km or 100 miles. But you also have to be able to face those doubts and use confidence akido to turn them to your advantage.

This weekend, I'm using my long run to try and work on this confidence/doubt balance, in addition to better fueling and a slightly faster pace.