Doubt vs. Confidence

For me, as I ramp up my mileage and try to become a slightly faster runner, the self-doubt that creeps in whenever we do something new becomes more pronounced, second only to the physical stress required to get better. We become accustomed to seeing others do something incredible like run a marathon or an ultramarathon, and thinking, "I could never do that!". Which is a normal response, I think, to some extent. Disbelief is part of wonder in some ways. If we believed anyone could run 100 miles, it wouldn't evoke so much wonder and admiration when we see men and women do it.

But I think it's when that thought crystallizes into what we think is knowledge that it becomes doubt. We go from exclaiming, "I could never do that" to "I could never do that! I'm too lazy/overweight/busy/ etc." And then we start believing that. I know I'm definitely guilty of this and it's probably going to be a much bigger part of my training and running experience as I move past the 10 mile mark in my long runs.

For example, last week I kept having nagging doubts going into my long run. What if I can't run the whole distance? What if I run too fast and flame out? Etc. I think that definitely impacted my run to some degree, as it was overall OK, but not what I was hoping. I ran too slowly, my stomach felt bad through much of the run, and I just didn't feel confident.

And that's the interesting part: confidence and doubt are two sides of the same coin, yet you can definitely have too much or too little of each. Overconfidence can prove as costly as being too doubtful of your abilities. Yet doubt in many ways is fuel for our desire to test ourselves and our capabilities, both physical and mental. I don't know if I will be able to run a marathon someday, but I'm fairly confident with the right training I can. So I'll go do it. I doubt I could ever run an ultramarathon, but I'll go attempt that someday as well.

Doubt asks the question, "You think you can do this?"

Confidence helps us answer, "Yes. Here, let me show you."

Of course reaching that point mentally isn't quite as easy as typing it out, but that's the point and it's definitely a critical part of training for long distance running. Certainly you have to have the strength of body to run 26.2 miles or 50km or 100 miles. But you also have to be able to face those doubts and use confidence akido to turn them to your advantage.

This weekend, I'm using my long run to try and work on this confidence/doubt balance, in addition to better fueling and a slightly faster pace.

Operation Cannoli Follow Up (also Running Stuff, Too)

Operation Cannoli was a great success, although we ended up going with Italian cookies over cannoli, simply because of the potential mess factor. But the overall plan worked like a charm. We had the cookies in a bag and got no trouble walking in with it. We also bought a large drink and soft pretzel, so the theater company got plenty of our money for the evening anyway. The only problem was that once the movie began, it was impossible to see the cookies to see what kind you were eating. Next time, as a logistical improvement, I'd arrange the cookies in a particular order so we knew what we were blindly eating. However, freshly made Italian cookies beat Twizzlers any day.

I won't bore anyone with a review of The Dark Knight Rises, other than to say I think it was a.) the best of the three Christopher Nolan Batman movies (although they're all great) and b.) the best superhero movie I've seen maybe ever, and that includes Superman II. But, I like Batman darker and grittier like Nolan envisioned him, so that has a lot to do with it. Plus, as I've noted before, I'm not a big Spider-Man fan. I will say that this movie and the first Iron Man movies are close in my book, but my affinity for the Caped Crusader seals the deal for me.

I also had a successful running weekend and managed to get both my intervals and long run done. No major problems, although the weather was very humid, so the long run was a tough slog and it was a challenge to keep my heart rate under control throughout. From here on out, I'm going to be focusing on ramping up my mileage as the half marathon in October approaches. So, this weekend will be a 6 miler, building up to 10-11 miles the week before the race, ideally. To supplement that, I'm going to be much better about cross training, stretching, etc. I need to improve my aerobic fitness, but also my flexibility, as I don't want to pull a hamstring trying to get through a long run.

Cutting out Italian cookies might be helpful too, now that I think about it.

And, in a brief follow up to Saturday's post: Shalane Flanagan and Kara Goucher came in 10th and 11th in Sunday's women's Olympic Marathon, respectively. They were up with the leaders for much of the race and, given the heavy hitters in the field, I think they did great. The winning runner set an Olympic record, so being the 10th and 11th fastest women in the race is nothing to feel bad about at all.

And the Curiosity rover touched down on Mars early this morning (in the east), without any problems, which is really unbelievable. The rover sent a few pictures back from the surface already and it's incredible to think that hundreds of scientists and engineers were able to put a car, basically, on another planet, after shooting it into space and building a computer to navigate the millions of miles from Florida to freaking Mars.

Here's a link (courtesy of The Atlantic and NASA) to the video of the control room at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in the minutes leading up to the confirmation transmission from Curiosity that it had reached Mars. I think I'd be jumping up and down ecstatically too, if I had spent years working on that project.

Sing in Me Muse...

Sorry for the posting hiatus; the weekend was hectic and not very run-filled, and this week my running blog muse has gone on vacay, leaving me with little in the way of inspiration.

A quick recap of my weekend to explain: Friday we took Tedster in to the vet for a deep dental cleaning. His teeth were kind of a mess when we got him from the rescue organization back in December 2010, but this was a product of his original owners, whoever they were, not caring for him at all. His breath had gotten worse as of late, so we decided to pony up and have the deep cleaning done. They ended up extracting four of his top teeth, which were rotted, in addition to the cleaning, so they gave him some pain meds and we took him home Friday evening. But later that night, his breathing became very shallow and the vet said to bring him back, so we ended up back at the vet that night (it's a 24 hour animal hospital). THey agreed to keep him overnight for observation (no charge). But that meant I had to get up and go get him Saturday morning, which meant no Saturday morning run.

My mother-in-law flew in later that day to visit us and my wife's sister in DC. Unfortunately, she stepped on an uneven piece of sidewalk in DC and (we found out later) fractured her foot in two places. So, she stayed with us Saturday night but we got up and drove her to National airport the next morning so she could catch an early flight back. Thus, Sunday's run was also nixed.

So, as you can tell, the weekend training really didn't happen, unfortunately. But not for lack of trying! I've been more successful this week in getting out the door and some short runs completed. Pretty standard stuff, which also explains the lack of posting. I'm trying to avoid "junk posts" just as you would try to avoid junk miles during training. And while I have plenty of non-running ideas floating in my head, I want to limit them as well since this is supposed to be primarily a running blog.

In closing, I'll try and get some running posts up here shortly. Just as soon as my muse returns from her holiday.